BRI so-called LIFE

OK, so here's the deal: Jordan Catalano's so, like... obvious. Or whatever. 

Like, all the girls love him, but really he's just like all those guys at high school that get all the girls. Like a heart-throb or something.  But the more you look at him - I mean really look at him - you realise that he's just like... I don't know, dressed like all those guys did back in the 90s? 

And the longer you watch, for like the whole series, and he grows his bangs or whatever and Chase grows the red out of her hair, and both their eyebrows get, like, really big... Well, they kind of look like two versions of the same person. Like twins or, what was that word in class, a, um, doppelganger? 

And they even start dressing the same - I mean like, she's wearing sheepskin and everything. Well, I guess it just feels... I don't know... wrong.  I mean he's so dumb. 

But oh my god in the last episode when he like says all that stuff that Brian told him to but like Krakow's hiding right there and Angela's heart just melts... Well that's when you realise that they're like, meant to be together. 

I mean Krakow's so cool. He's all sensitive and romantic and poetic and it's all like unrequited and I don't know... he like analyses everything until it barely exists but there's this like huge heart inside him, like he's the Tin Man. Or something.

And he's got the white man afro and the style, the style man - he's like got the chinos and the checked shirt, and the um cardigan and he rides that bike around and around?

It's like he's from Shoreditch or something.

And then that fat girl who's like so obviously 30 really and has that stupid perm, she's like "he's the most self-centred low down dog of all time", and like, "he just uses girls and tosses them aside" and you figure that Krakow's a real badass. I mean, in a good way. Like if he just manned up he could like sweep her off her feet - I mean, Angela... not fat perm girl - and they could just move away together and go to like college and get married, and all that stuff.

But of course he ends up alone but still in love, like this stalker, I mean actually a voyeur. Like that movie where the guy with the broken leg just sits at his window and watches the world, like watching life pass him by.

So like when he's in his room and he's totally obsessing over fishermen and how they "wait there forever and when something finally tugs on their line, they like don't panic" I guess he's  talking about himself. Like there's plenty more fish in the sea but she'll always be the one that got away - which is completely cliched and everything, but also like true. I mean, will he ever you know... find someone?